Week 12: Back in the Running

Dan: After the post half-marathon blues, where we found it difficult to regain motivation (probably because of a false sense of achievement – how dare we) this week we were determined to lift ourselves and get back on track. It’s just a shame then that this track was 20 miles long - Oooo yes that’s right! Sunday saw Lee and me conquer the 20 mile run BRRMM!

The decision to start our mega run at 9am rather than midday led to the predictable need for a toilet break. What wasn’t so predictable was that this need hit us both at the same time (our bowels now synchronised after running together for so long). After arrogantly stating that I would go first as I was ‘fastest’ at toileting, I was stuck for 11 minutes while Lee was left to circle to public toilet like a constipated vulture. When I came out I was surprised to see him sprinting up the Hove seafront to the next block. I have never seen a human move so fast.

Lee: My testosterone on the longer runs is becoming a bit of a public nuisance. I imagine the arrest will go something like this;

Someone must have been telling lies about Lee C, he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested. Every day at eight in the morning he was brought his breakfast by Mr. Craig David – Mr. Craig David was his landlady - but today she didn't come. C waited a little while and rang the bell. Immediately a man entered. He was slim but firmly built, his clothes were black and close-fitting. "Who are you?" asked C, sitting half upright in his bed. The man, however, ignored the question as if his arrival simply had to be accepted, and replied, "You rang?" "Craig David should have brought me my breakfast," said C. The man went over to the door, opened it slightly, and said to someone who was clearly standing behind it, "He wants Craig David to bring him his breakfast." There was a little laughter, it was not clear from the sound of it whether there were several people laughing. The man said to C, as if making his report "It is not possible." "It would be the first time that's happened," said C, as he jumped out of bed and quickly pulled on his running shorts. "I want to see who that is in the next room, and why it is that Mr Craig David has let me be disturbed in this way." The man said, " You'd better stay where you are. You’re under arrest"

I should imagine the case will go something like this;

Judge: Can we call the first witness, the nice old man.

Prosecutor: Hello nice old man.

Nice old man: Hello.

Prosecutor: What happened?

Nice old man: I was taking a photo of the colourful beach huts along Hove seafront because they are lovely..

Judge: Indeed! they are! I own a splendid yellow one with storage space for my bucket and spade. I do have a lovely time on the beach, when the weather permits it of course. The sunny days seem to get less and less you know. Um, carry on.
 

Nice old man: Yes your honour, well, as I was saying. I has my camera all set up to take a snap when two runners  ran in front of my camera-those two in the dock. “I heard one of them say, ooo sorry mate” . But the other one said to his fellow runner loud enough for me to hear “Well I’m not going to apologise. Taking pictures of huts is a rubbish hobby, suitable only for someone who thinks being stupid is a new and exciting thing do. The happy snapping fascist”

Courtroom: shock!

Judge: Alpha male Runner is the next witness. Please sir, what happened?

Alpha male Runner: Well I saw those two in the dock, one of them blew his nose and it went all over the others top. Then he, he wiped it off. (Alpha male runner passes out)

Prosecutor: How base has running become your honour!

Judge: Next witness! What happened!

Car man: Well I was driving fast along marine drive and heard one of them say “He’s been drinking from the devils water bottle, BP BP BP!”

Judge: Case close! Guilty as charged-My sentence is you will have to run the MARATHON. Take them away.

Court room: Cheers and jubilation.

  

SIMON BACK FROM THE GRAVE!

Like the T-2000 with dodgy knees, Simon has reformed and appears to be back in the running for the marathon. Hoorraaay. This decision was in no way affected through immense peer pressure.

Celebratory back from the grave image please Simon….

 

Celebratory? Really? Well thank you Simon.

CAN WE HAVE SOME MONEY PLEASE REMINDER

These hot buns and dynamite abs don't pay for themselves! Neither do goal posts or shuttlecocks. Pleeaase we're nearing the begging stage: http://www.justgiving.com/panther-dash