Week 15: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

Finally the week we have been waiting for is here. After 15 harrowing weeks of training we finally have license to sit back, open the fridge, cupboard, bread bin, Indian menu, Chinese menu, Thai menu, Mongolian menu, go round next door and take all their food, rob a child of his haribo in the street, pasta, food words, and commit carbicide on a biblical scale.

Ain’t no party like a pasta party (apart from an actual party). Sssss-cluuub.

Paranoia about legs and feet is now at the maximum setting. I didn’t realise this until a child touched my toe with his toy scooter on the bus. Oh yeah he dead. They are now wrapped in bubblewrap until the big day (our feet and legs, not the people who have DEFINATELY tried to injure them – they are buried in the garden).

In other news we decided that we were going to buy some super short shorts to show off our supreme thighs, but were talked out of it by a shop assistant who said they were ‘a bit 80’s’ while looking directly into my eyes pleadingly shaking his head mouthing ‘NO!’. If the person selling them was talking me out of buying them, clearly we have been saved some embarrassment.

SPONSORSHIP MESSAGE

As regular readers of this Blog may have noticed the overall theme has been one of post /Uncultured-Luxemburgist-Marxist/destructuralist/ femidon /Euro-Loch-nessy /Biscuit-Crumb chin strokism. Maybe, if we had been a bit more po-faced about the reason we were doing the Marathon i.e. for a charity we care about, we may have had greater sponsor success?

We debated early on how to approach our marketing strategy at the Elite Extreme Panther Dash AGM In January (You can view the Minutes online). Whilst sipping Skinny Latte’s  and OMG-ing about the potential of the new media phenomena to make money.

Postive Statements to TWEET:

1.       Sponsor us.
2.       Please sponsor us.
3.       We would appreciate it if you sponsored us.
4.       Free back rubs on us!

Reverse Psychology Mobile Ring Tones:

1.       Don’t Sponsor us.
2.       Please Don’t sponsor us.
3.       We would appreciate it if you didn’t sponsored us.
4.       LMAO! Charity?! Save that crumpled up fiver in your pocket to spend on your favourite hobby. Tea-bagging. Everybody Knows. On your Brow.

Political @TWEETS:

1.       @RioFerdinand.YOU BEEN MERC’D BRO! Pay your Taxes and sponsor the Arms Trade. Give Panthers a fiver for play time equipment, in countries that your taxes help rich people like yourself oppress. 
2.       @LadyGaga; leek OMG leek gives us some ££££idge leek.

Avant Garde PAPS:

1.       Meow.
2.       Purrrrr